Penguins
Penguins Star Wars Night: 25 Puns from the Dark Side
If only the Penguins had played the Sharks and an actual Wookie were present. Or–where the heck was Y108’s Wookie?!
OK, ok, I have no life. I’ve seen every Star Wars movie; I recite lines, I even have a 15″ tall interactive R2D2 which will follow me around the room and talk to me. (Let’s face it, with my personality, anything that will talk to me is a blessing).
I even linger when Phantom Menace is on TV. God help me. So, Star Wars Night at PPG Paints Arena was a little slice of heaven. While other reporters jotted pre-game columns, I was scribbling and editing potential Star Wars puns. Unfortunately, the Penguins beat me to the “Kessel Run” in 12 parsecs joke.
So, since Twitter no longer lists tweets in order, here are all 25, in chronological order. And a little bonus from today…
If you’re looking for a lack of Star Wars puns tonight, you’re looking in Alderaan places.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 7, 2017
I tried to bet on at least 10 Star Wars puns, but my Wookie wouldn’t take the bet
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 7, 2017
Relax, i used to bull’s-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. https://t.co/2qYUxLAakP
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 7, 2017
@Budmoonshine More easily startled?
A. Sand people
B. Pens fans late in gamesWe know only one will be back, and in greater numbers.
— Bryan (@ThatBryanG) December 7, 2017
Here we go…
That’s it. Let the hate flow….
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
I don’t mean to Padme resume, but that’s six Star Wars puns.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Ho-Sang tried to go endor-end.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
No goal—That puck went off Guentzel’s han solo.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Great save by Jarry—
He was their only hope.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
That wookie is playing well.
— Del Scott (@delscott331) December 8, 2017
Are you saying it’s a clone? https://t.co/iFOsYZmuOU
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Does having Jarry in net give Pens fans a new hope?
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
The Penguins had a rogue one player.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Ok, I flubbed that one. I should have tweeted, The Penguins went rogue, one player.
You may not like this take—but I don’t think Eberle was trying to put Sid in Cloud City.
It wasn’t intentional…I don’t think.— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Cole just tattooined Ladd on the wall.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Anders Lee just bowled Jarry—no call.
That scruffy nerf herder— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Guentzel with the partial breakaway—shot it off the windu.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Jarry has stopped 18 of 19, including 12 of 13 in that period.
Don’t get cocky, kid.— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Yep, a classic misquote, too. It should be Great, kid! Don’t get cocky. I beg a thousand pardons.
Calvin de Haan (Solo) gets his first shot in. Greedo still has zero.
— Seth Rorabaugh (@SethRorabaugh) December 8, 2017
Pens dropped into a 1-3-1 there.
Say it with me—Its a trap!
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Sadly, right now this place has all of the life of Hayden Christensen’s acting
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
The Force Awakens! Pens 2-1. PPG.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
The Empire state strikes back with 5 to go. Fortunately, there are about 12000 fans left to groan.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
That last 1:30 pic.twitter.com/v6mRYyjH6Z
— carmen marchionda (@therealchookie) December 8, 2017
The obligatory homage to Space Balls, too. I hate that movie, but that is pretty funny and perfectly summed up the Penguins final five minutes.
Let’s be honest, this was a chewy game. Went from a bucket of bolts to hyperdrive, back to the garbage chute and finally a party on Endor.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Since Ho-Sang didn’t score—my last pun…
Tonight Penguins game was by Order 66.
Waited all night. Never got the opening. There you go. 25 puns.
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
Dan—will you stop the Star Wars puns already?
Me: Yes. In fact:——-Finn——-
Ok, one more. ????
— Dan Kingerski (@Budmoonshine) December 8, 2017
There you go! All the ridiculous tweets in one place. Now, isn’t that a Rey of sunshine? Please don’t maul me. I can’t stop. Help me, Obi Wan, er, nevermind.